A Message to Fathers and Children on Mother's Day

For either good or ill (and usually a dose of both), the most influential person in almost any human being’s life is a mother. It is a mother who is the first model of humanity, and the first model of kindness, and the first model of hardened strength, and the first model of soft warmth, and the first model of love, and the first model of patience, and the first model of personal industry.  Before any human being can understand what sacrifice is, she is the first example of it as she carries a child in her body for 9 months, and then births the child in the midst of pulsing, agonizing pain. It is a mother who does the initial shaping of a child’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. Perhaps more than any other human being, she lays much of the foundation for a child’s ultimate adult psyche. The best ones know this, and so they often struggle to present with the right mix of words, and behavior, and temperament so that their children are not burdened by their mistakes of tone, or impatience, or strictness, or leniency, or personal example. It’s no wonder that mothers often seem crippled with anxiety.

Her job is immense, profoundly important, and often overwhelmingly and tearfully difficult. And yet she meets its tasks with a strength and resolve that rivals ancient oaks, granite mountains, and disciplined warriors. All mothers of loving magnitude are beautiful beyond measure, but just like the flowers with which we symbolize them, they can be fragile. 

The weight of their job is so great that even the most mediocre of mothers are deserving of honor from their children, their communities, and their husbands. Every year we give them a wonderful day in which we take on their more menial tasks, or give them a dinner in the town, or provide them with a colorful bouquet, or all of these things and more. Honoring them in this way is wonderful, and usually appreciated.  Please don’t stop. It reinforces a community’s appreciation for their value to its health. This annual celebration codes a mother’s importance into the community’s cultural mind. 

But it is not enough!  

So here is a word for husbands, fathers, and children.  Husbands and fathers, love your wives and the mothers of your children like Christ loved the church. Sacrifice for her, support her, and do not leave her to do it alone (Ephesians 5:25-30). The job is too important, and while she is designed to mother her children, she is not designed to do that challenging task without your daily, practical, physical, and emotional support – just as you are not designed to do yours without her daily support.  Children, honor your mother by living a life that validates the sacrifices she has daily made for you throughout your life (Exodus 20:12). Grow and learn from her wisdom. Lift her up in the sight of the men and women of your community by applying the best of her lessons and examples to how you walk in wisdom and goodness. She is honored most when you are most honorable.